Move from expert to explorer

Connecting more deeply with clients is a strategic part of driving organic growth. But for busy advisors juggling multiple demands on their time, fostering relationship connection can feel like a difficult trade-off decision. After all, doesn’t it take more time to create deeper relationships, have more meaningful conversations, and connect across generations?

What if that wasn’t the case? What if there was a way to create deeper connections with clients and their families that took less time, not more? What if it was possible to achieve efficiencies in the relational space just like the financial aspects?

Becoming intimacy-efficient

We all know advisors who have an intuitive knack for connecting deeply with clients right away. They are the kind of people whose clients say, “I felt like we had known each other forever.” The reality is that we can all learn how to create this kind of experience for our clients. It just takes some intentionality and an understanding of the specific skills we need to build.

Dr. Timothy Habbershon, founder of the Fidelity Center for Family Engagement (FCFE), has developed a new way of thinking about client engagement rooted in neuroscience. In this model, he shares a framework every advisor can use to change the relationship curve with their clients. And he outlines how we can learn to create “intimacy-efficiency”—going deeper with clients in a faster, more efficient way.

The transformative idea behind this approach is that intimacy is “talk about anything.” The more we can talk about, the more potential we have for intimacy. If we expand what we can talk about, we can create the conditions for connecting more deeply, more quickly with our clients and their families.

Moving from expert to explorer

An important part of the value advisors offer clients is their expertise. But our knowledge and experience can inadvertently become an obstacle to deeper connection. That can happen when we lead with expertise, make assumptions, or drive too quickly to solutions. That’s the expert impulse behind sentiments like “Don’t worry, I’m a certified financial planner,” or “I help couples achieve their retirement goals all the time.”

We can overcome this expert gravity by shifting how we view our role. Rather than thinking of ourselves as experts whose primary function is to diagnose problems and deliver solutions, we can think of ourselves as explorers who seek to better understand a client’s needs and perspectives.

This shift begins with a realization: You are never the expert on someone else’s life. This sets us up to embrace curiosity as a core capability. When we lead with curiosity, we deliver solutions that feel right to our clients—not only because the client was part of the process, but because the solutions are suited to their unique needs and interests.

By developing the mindsets and skill sets of curiosity, we can drive deeper connection, create organic growth, become intimacy-efficient, and apply our expertise in service of our clients’ needs.

Making curiosity a capability

Curiosity is genuine care and interest. It is engaging with clients with an intention to know them better. We don’t become curious so we can sell a product or drive to a particular solution. We do it so we can co-create plans with them and their family. Because curiosity helps us ask questions like this: What’s their wish? What would bring them more peace of mind? How are they feeling about their planning?

The mindset of curiosity is “Ask more, tell less.” When we are guided by this thought, we engage differently. We stay curious longer. We suspend assumptions. We create space for clients to think and share. And we convey that their interests are driving the process.

With this mindset, we can build skills that make curious questions a normal part of our process. We can also make family engagement an embedded part of the planning process. That’s because exploring what matters to a client also means exploring what matters to the important people in their life.

Curiosity is a differentiator

We all know what it feels like when someone is genuinely interested in exploring our perspective and experience. We also know what it’s like when a professional takes the time to understand our needs and support us in making plans that reflect who we are and how we want to live.

Through curiosity, you can deliver more value to clients by uncovering the emotional and meaningful aspects of planning topics. You can expand what you talk about, which creates a deeper connection. And you can connect across generations to drive organic growth through family engagement.